Grandad the Gravy Monster

Although you are little
I think you should know
before you get older,
or sprout up and grow

that inside this family
there's a terrible tale,
it's a horrible secret
regarding one male.

For behind his kind eyes
and his white head of hair
with mad football watching
and Coronation Street cares

Your grandpa's not grandpa
all of the day
he's really quite different,
come closer, I'll say.

He's the last gravy monster
that lives in this land.
You watch him at dinner
he'll eat what he can.

He eats it on chicken, on peas
and his mash.
His cornflakes, his kippers,
his slippers and cash.

He puts it on ice-cream
and drinks through a straw
on his toast and jam
one grandchild, she saw.

But if you have doubts
that all this is true
then when he runs out
just watch him turn blue.

He'll rumble and grumble
a monsterous roar
"The gravy boats empty....
I WANT SOME MORE!!!!!!"

A Beth original!